The I Statement

Have you ever had something you really want to do or know you HAVE to do, and you’re like… running faster from it than you ever have in your life?

OR it could also feel like that aggressive sensation of feeling stuck instead of taking action.

You know what I’m talking about. 💩 

It’s that fear that pops its head every time you try to get something done and it stops you in your tracks.

You either distract yourself…

… ignore it

… or choose a different path to avoid that DREADFUL FEELING.

This post was inspired by a dear friend of mine (Heyyyy gurlll if you’re reading this 😘).

Recently I had a brief talk with her and she mentioned feeling a innate sense of resistance with choosing certain paths and doing the necessary tasks.

So then it got me thinking…

To a certain extent, fear and doubt is normal _(phew!)

We have all felt doubt when we are in the process of deciding for ourselves and expanding.

New experiences in our lives should trigger some degree of caution TBH.

But what we were talking about here is different — Because I have felt it too.

The feeling is a dread, it is a resistance, an AVERSION almost, to doing the thing you have to do.

You just want the looming shadow over your head to GTFO.

Before I started this blog, I felt just that.

A looming shadow that stopped me from even writing.

That shadow paralyzed me for YEARSSSSSSS. (Seriously, I wanted to write this blog in 2011!)

It made me feel like starting this blog was somehow the scariest thing on the PLANET.

But eventually (it took 12 years)… I just... started it.

I know that sounds lame or easy, but it’s true: I just started it.

It took me 12 years to build up the courage to start and I STILL had that shadow of fear over me when I did.

If I had completely let that feeling dictate my life, I wouldn’t be here, writing, six months later.

I understand now that this “shadow” was my own sabotage to avoid failure and the belief that I wouldn’t succeed. 🫠 

Here are a few things I learned in working through this shadow over 12 years:

1. The origin of this limiting belief doesn’t matter.

What matters is, whether we let this belief in our failure, lead us or not.

There are ENDLESS reasons, whether you remember them or not as to why this belief was adopted inside of you.

Save yourself the headache and time and don’t even both trying to figure out the root.

It won’t change the end result anyways.

That belief stops existing when you change it in the present.

2. Every time you work against that feeling, at first, you’re going to feel like a cat in water.

There is NO getting around this, no matter how much self-soothing you do.

But it gets easier the more you do it (I promise!)

Eventually that feeling goes away ENTIRELY. :D

3. You will have that feeling, and it doesn’t have to mean anything more than that.

If we are going to break it down psychologically… it is a part of you that is disproportionately louder than others at that moment, that is trying to protect you from what IT perceives to be a threat.

Somehow, me writing a blog was life-threatening to the same level as putting my hand in a boiling pot of water.

Make that make sense.

But you see, you can observe this part and decide to accept that this is how IT feels.

We do NOT have to change that part at all.

 It’s like asking the part of you that hates exercise to suddenly like exercise.

The truth is, this fear-based protective part is doing its job to protect you because it CARES. But we do not need to follow it and let it lead.

Just BE WITH it.

4. I read this book called, “The War of Art” By Steven Pressfield.

You could listen to the audiobook on youtube for free here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9CdKl2HktGA

I highly recommend it because it goes deep into breaking down what resistance IS, and how we must act despite it.

Its a short listen. The length of 2.5 podcasts!

5. The only way to change your limiting belief is to SHOW UP!

As you work despite this shadow being present, you eventually get new evidence so you can actually CHALLENGE the beliefs that empower it.

Until then, you can’t think it away.

If I didn’t have a six month old blog to show my shadow I COULD do it, I would still believe I couldn’t.

6. At a certain level, set your expectations realistically.

Part of the fear is, that what’s on the other side of you taking action is BIG change.

My fears and limiting beliefs are very polarized in thinking it’s either BIG SUCCESS OR INSTANT FAILURE.

Life doesn’t work that way.

Life isn’t a jeopardy game all the time where it’s so black and white.

Success and failure is GRADUAL.

You taking action is a small step.

It doesn’t immediately lead to anything.

Me starting this blog didn’t mean instant success or fame.

My fear part thought: ”If I start writing, I won’t instantly have followers and I will see how much I suck.”

Not true. Success takes time.

Success really looks like slow growth. VERY slow.

My fear’s expectations of instant SUCCESS OR FAILURE isn’t REAL.

I hope this all comes in handy next time you may feel a looming sense of shadow wash over you.

I would love to hear from you!

Hop over to my Socials and DM me or Email me at [email protected]! I answer every email :)